The other day Logan and I had drove over to Deerwood to see a baseball game... On our way out of the park I noticed there were two girls walking along the side of the road. One of them had a paper plate from a hotdog... just then a big just of wind came up, pulling the plate right out of the girls hand. Both girls screamed (as girls do) and followed the plate with their eyes as it went up over the top of them and flew about ten feet behind them until it landed on the ground. Then thats when I heard His voice 'Pay attention, you are about to see something happen.'
The girls both looked at the plate, one even slowly starting to walk towards it... you know how you get a sense of some things? Well I got the sense that both of these girls had been taught not to litter... and had they been just a year or two younger they would have raced to see who could grab the plate first... but there they both stood, turning and looking at each other, then at the plate... As I passed them I looked in my rear view mirror to see what was going to happen... This pulled at my heart strings in great hope they would do the right thing, and I found myself praying they would pick the plate up (I know it sounds strange). My heart leaped with joy as I saw one of the girls walk over and pick the plate up. Instantly the urge to pray for the girls deepened and I became aware of why...
Ever find yourself in a 'pickle' and looking around at the situation and wonder, 'How did I get into this mess?'... I have!! And it wasn't sometime that just happened... I conditioned my self right into it... at sometime long before it happened, instead of 'picking up the plate', I decided it wouldn't be so bad if I just let it go... Let me explain it differently...
When these girls were younger they would have picked the plate up right away, without any hesitation... And if you told them someday they would be thinking of littering, they would tell you 'NOT ME!'... But as it would be over time... whether peer pressure, laziness, embarassment, etc. they both looked to see what the other was going to do... they stalled from doing what they knew was right... this time one of them decided to step up and pick up... what about next time... What if I was to tell them that someday they would get a fine for littering...
"PAY ATTENTION!!" I hear Him whisper. "OPEN YOUR EYES!!" He revealed to me how important it is that I stay 'on top of things' so to speak... Watch and pay attention to the little choices I make that can lead to the big mistakes...
PaPa open my eye's... keep me alert... do what ever it takes for me to stay close to You...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Pray for who?
"Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way."
Hebrews 13:18
Pray for us!! I love this!! There have been so many times in my past that I have thought that if I asked for prayer for myself it was a sign of weakness or even lead to believe that it was selfish... So what of it?!? When I am weak is He not strong? And I am learning to that to LOVE GOD & love others, I must love myself!! Should we not ask for prayer for the ones we love? And loving your self IS NOT SELFISHNESS!! Selfishness is complete opposite of caring about self... I mean think about it... When I am being selfish (Yea, I have been known to be, believe it or not.) I am wanting satisfaction RIGHT NOW, at any cost, not thinking of any consequences for not just others, but myself... When you think about it really it is sad... the statement "She is just so selfish. She doesn't think about any body but herself." No not really! But I guess it is a lot shorter than... "She is always wanting instant gratification, never thinking about what it is going to do to herself or others down the road." Whoever wrote Hebrews knew that needing prayer was important! So much so that they state "PRAY FOR US"... Not a question but a statement! Understanding that I am "only human" and I am "weak"... I need prayer! Not just for myself alone, but with the knowing that I will be of no good to the kingdom if I am not doing well. I often say, " One of the most unselfish things I can do is be selfish." Now you could take that wrong if you want to, but really think about it... when I am truly thinking of myself, my health and well being in it's fullness... only then can I be used to glorify His kingdom and all it's fullness. But I need to remember to look at it in the big picture of things... to first Love God~Love others... I must first love self... I am sure... I cannot love myself without first being loved by my PaPa Himself! O.K. I am sure I have come full circle around that one... Back to my point... It is not about me... It is about Him... I am His... I put Him first by seeing and knowing He created me... He loves me... He knows and wants the best for me... and that means I need to act like I believe that... by trusting HIM... listening to HIM... to best take care of me.
It is about HIM!! HE created you! He loves you!! He knows and wants the best for you!!! Trust HIM... listen to HIM... to best take care of you!!!! Be weak!! Need prayer? Don't ask... just make the statement "Pray for me!" Not only does it benefit you... but the ones who prays for you... and the ones who don't... but first and foremost it gives all the praise and glory to God... God with us!! My great I AM!!
As 'leaders' we can sometimes get set in the thinking that we need to show everyone we can 'handle' everything... and we sometimes put on masks to hide how we are truly feeling... I see the enemy loving this because we are keeping things 'in the dark'... the outcome is never good... it can make things harder for ourselves and others... bring things out 'into the light'... I believe people need to see we 'leaders' struggle... but we really can be 'leaders' by showing them what we do when we struggle...
"Remember your leaders, who spoke the Word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith."
Hebrews 13:7
I want people to see when I fail, but through faith in Him win... Not the prideful attitude... I don't fail, only to loose and people to see. Where I lead... do I want others to follow? Hmmmm... Oh PaPa, we need your help! Show us how to be great followers of Your Word so we may become great leaders of Your Word!! Equip us with everything good for doing Your will! And work in us what is pleasing to You, through Jesus Christ, to whom be all the glory for ever and ever!! Your grace be with us all!! Amen!!
Hebrews 13:18
Pray for us!! I love this!! There have been so many times in my past that I have thought that if I asked for prayer for myself it was a sign of weakness or even lead to believe that it was selfish... So what of it?!? When I am weak is He not strong? And I am learning to that to LOVE GOD & love others, I must love myself!! Should we not ask for prayer for the ones we love? And loving your self IS NOT SELFISHNESS!! Selfishness is complete opposite of caring about self... I mean think about it... When I am being selfish (Yea, I have been known to be, believe it or not.) I am wanting satisfaction RIGHT NOW, at any cost, not thinking of any consequences for not just others, but myself... When you think about it really it is sad... the statement "She is just so selfish. She doesn't think about any body but herself." No not really! But I guess it is a lot shorter than... "She is always wanting instant gratification, never thinking about what it is going to do to herself or others down the road." Whoever wrote Hebrews knew that needing prayer was important! So much so that they state "PRAY FOR US"... Not a question but a statement! Understanding that I am "only human" and I am "weak"... I need prayer! Not just for myself alone, but with the knowing that I will be of no good to the kingdom if I am not doing well. I often say, " One of the most unselfish things I can do is be selfish." Now you could take that wrong if you want to, but really think about it... when I am truly thinking of myself, my health and well being in it's fullness... only then can I be used to glorify His kingdom and all it's fullness. But I need to remember to look at it in the big picture of things... to first Love God~Love others... I must first love self... I am sure... I cannot love myself without first being loved by my PaPa Himself! O.K. I am sure I have come full circle around that one... Back to my point... It is not about me... It is about Him... I am His... I put Him first by seeing and knowing He created me... He loves me... He knows and wants the best for me... and that means I need to act like I believe that... by trusting HIM... listening to HIM... to best take care of me.
It is about HIM!! HE created you! He loves you!! He knows and wants the best for you!!! Trust HIM... listen to HIM... to best take care of you!!!! Be weak!! Need prayer? Don't ask... just make the statement "Pray for me!" Not only does it benefit you... but the ones who prays for you... and the ones who don't... but first and foremost it gives all the praise and glory to God... God with us!! My great I AM!!
As 'leaders' we can sometimes get set in the thinking that we need to show everyone we can 'handle' everything... and we sometimes put on masks to hide how we are truly feeling... I see the enemy loving this because we are keeping things 'in the dark'... the outcome is never good... it can make things harder for ourselves and others... bring things out 'into the light'... I believe people need to see we 'leaders' struggle... but we really can be 'leaders' by showing them what we do when we struggle...
"Remember your leaders, who spoke the Word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith."
Hebrews 13:7
I want people to see when I fail, but through faith in Him win... Not the prideful attitude... I don't fail, only to loose and people to see. Where I lead... do I want others to follow? Hmmmm... Oh PaPa, we need your help! Show us how to be great followers of Your Word so we may become great leaders of Your Word!! Equip us with everything good for doing Your will! And work in us what is pleasing to You, through Jesus Christ, to whom be all the glory for ever and ever!! Your grace be with us all!! Amen!!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Leave the ducks for Dad. (This is not for duck lovers! But it is laughs!)
Years ago Mike's (my husband) dad built a pond in his backyard... every spring ducks would come... see the water and want to stay... This caused many problems... I mean serious problems... because they poop... they poop everywhere... they would mess the deck up in one afternoon... and the pond... the fish... they would die. Mike's dad would always get 'rid' of them... About 10 years ago he died... And getting 'rid' of the ducks was left to Mike... Now here is where the story really starts....
Mike's grandma moved in with his mom... she was 92... it was spring and the ducks were making their selves right at home in the backyard... The deck was still slippery for the winter and grandma being grandma, was concerned about those ducks getting into the pond and killing the fish... so she would go out on to the deck with a broom and a loud voice everytime a duck would land in the backyard... I did say the deck was slippery... well this was not good... so mom asked Mike to come over and get 'rid' of the ducks... because grandma was going to fall and break her hip if she went out there again... So we went over to get 'rid' of the ducks... right away grandma put 2 pots of water on the stove to boil... Mom told Mike what gun dad always used... a 22... Mike it and sat down in front of the patio doors crossed his legs and aim at the female first... shot and aimed at the mallard... the mallard stood up to see why his mate had just slumped over... the bullet slicing across its breast plate... it to dropping to the ground... Mike and the boys them walked out into the yard to retrieve the ducks and bring them in for grandma to 'fix' them... Well... you know that mallard?... Lance walked right up to it a reached down to pick it up... it was playing possum... it jumped to it's feet with a big quack startling Lance, knocking him off his feet... the duck saw this as his oppertunity to escape, flapping it's wings as it went running across the yard... Mike and Logan went running after it... Lance as Lance took a stick and poked at the other one before he went to pick it up... Mike had gotten ahold of the mallard and quickly snapped its neck and the bird went limp... and told Lance to take both birds around to the side door to the basement... the neighbor from across the way had hear the commotion came out and seen what was going on... went back in... and came back outside just as Lance was nearing the corner of the house... He was angry... his vocabuary informed us of that... he yelled, telling us he was a member of Ducks Unlimited and he had called the DNR and the police and they would both be there shortly... I could feel the panic rise up in my chest... Mike spoke up trying to keep the boy's from getting scared... he told the man o.k. and we would wait inside for them to show...
Mike told Lance and Logan to take the ducks down to the basement sink... he turned to grandma and told her to turn off the stove... did I mention she is 92 and very hard of hearing?... After repeating to grandma to turn the stove off for the 4th time... grandma then wanted to know why... then who was the DNR... then... a loud quack from the basement and a scream, a crash, the another quack and a few more screams... I ran to the top of the stairs and looked down... a duck (the mallard w/the lives of a cat) waddled past... Lance waddling after it... and Logan after Lance (if you can picture this, just spead your feet about 2 feet apart, squat, put your elbows on your knees and try to walk...)... the a loud thunk... quacking stopped... screaming stopped... then loud QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!!! More screams.... duck waddling back in opposite direction past stairs, then Lance, then Logan... duck had banged right into closet door in basement... knocked itself out for a moment... so again gone into shock... not sure there... anyway I guess you would have to ask the duck... oh wait you can't...
The boys were in still in somewhat of a panic and to be honest so were Mike and I... we really hadn't been in to much trouble with the law before and never with guns... but we decided it would be best if we showed a good example to our children if we told the truth and faced what ever consequences we had to face... that seemed to calm them down some...
Mike finally took care of the duck... just in time too, the DNR and the police had just arrived... after explaining to grandma why they were there, for the 3rd time... they then turned to Mike and stated 'She can't hear us can she?'... So Mike explained what he did and why he did it... They explained that it was illegal to shoot a fire in town and kill a duck out of season without a license... Then he looked straight at Mike and said, "We have to take the gun... you used a BB gun right?..." He was shacking his head yes and with out thinking both Mike and I started shaking our heads yes too... "I will need the gun... do you still have the BB you used?"... We froze... thats when Lance spoke up and said yes... it was in the basement and he would get it... and he went down and got Mikes BB gun from when he was a kid!! I stood there not even sure what to do... The officer then continued to talk and walk us through various things... Logan had disapeared... finally after telling us we would be fined and would have to go to court to find out how much he told us we would have to give him the ducks... Mike went down to the basement and got the plastic bag he had wrapped the ducks in and handed it to the man... he felt the sack carefully and then said there was only 1 duck... and he was going to take it out to the truck and be right back in with papers we would have to sign... Mike and I said nothing... we just stood there staring at each other... Lance had disapeared along with his brother... The officer returned, papers in hand... Mike signed them and he left... at which point both Mike and I heard sobbing coming from the basement steps... there sat both boys, crying... Logan spoke out first "He is going to open up that sack and find out there were 2 ducks!"... then Lance, "Yea, and then he is going to cut them open and find out I lied and it wasn't a BB gun!"... Again Mike and I could do nothing but look at each other... After some hugs and reasuring them it was going to be alright, Mike tried to explain to them that the officer really did know the truth, but he didn't want to see daddy get into really big trouble when he didn't mean too... Lance was old enough to understand this a little and he thought thats why the officer was so weird when he asked for the gun... As the the looked up to brother he was within minutes he had gotten Logan calmed down too. We walked back up the stairs and into the kitchen and there stood grandma hands on her hips, disgusted look on her face as she spoke, "THEY TOOK OUR DUCKS!!" We tried to tell her what had happened... she said yea.. yea.. she knew all that... but WHY DID THEY TAKE OUR DUCKS?!....
Like the mallard this story isn't done yet... The day of court... Mike's 2 uncles, his mom, and his grandma all went with us... They had all agreed Mike was not going to pay the fines when he did it for his grandma... As Mike went before the Judge, they had different people there to represent the Ducks Unlimited, prosecution, DNR, etc. the Judge listened to the case... then grandma got up and walked right up to the Judge... no one said anything... I mean what do you say to an old 92 year old woman who is 'waddling' up to the Judge? Everyone stopped talking as she spoke up, "Judge, my grandson did this for me and if you give him any fines I am going to pay for it. And if he has to spend any time in jail, he can't he has got a family and he has to work. I am 92 and I don't have anything better to do so I will go for him." And she turned back around and went and sat down... The Judge was the first to speak "I will fine him the minimium he can be fined..."
After that we decided 'DAD' was the best at taking care of the troublesome ducks... But grandma sure knew how to talk to a Judge!
Could there be a lesson to be learned here?
Believe it or not this story IS NOT MADE UP!
Mike's grandma moved in with his mom... she was 92... it was spring and the ducks were making their selves right at home in the backyard... The deck was still slippery for the winter and grandma being grandma, was concerned about those ducks getting into the pond and killing the fish... so she would go out on to the deck with a broom and a loud voice everytime a duck would land in the backyard... I did say the deck was slippery... well this was not good... so mom asked Mike to come over and get 'rid' of the ducks... because grandma was going to fall and break her hip if she went out there again... So we went over to get 'rid' of the ducks... right away grandma put 2 pots of water on the stove to boil... Mom told Mike what gun dad always used... a 22... Mike it and sat down in front of the patio doors crossed his legs and aim at the female first... shot and aimed at the mallard... the mallard stood up to see why his mate had just slumped over... the bullet slicing across its breast plate... it to dropping to the ground... Mike and the boys them walked out into the yard to retrieve the ducks and bring them in for grandma to 'fix' them... Well... you know that mallard?... Lance walked right up to it a reached down to pick it up... it was playing possum... it jumped to it's feet with a big quack startling Lance, knocking him off his feet... the duck saw this as his oppertunity to escape, flapping it's wings as it went running across the yard... Mike and Logan went running after it... Lance as Lance took a stick and poked at the other one before he went to pick it up... Mike had gotten ahold of the mallard and quickly snapped its neck and the bird went limp... and told Lance to take both birds around to the side door to the basement... the neighbor from across the way had hear the commotion came out and seen what was going on... went back in... and came back outside just as Lance was nearing the corner of the house... He was angry... his vocabuary informed us of that... he yelled, telling us he was a member of Ducks Unlimited and he had called the DNR and the police and they would both be there shortly... I could feel the panic rise up in my chest... Mike spoke up trying to keep the boy's from getting scared... he told the man o.k. and we would wait inside for them to show...
Mike told Lance and Logan to take the ducks down to the basement sink... he turned to grandma and told her to turn off the stove... did I mention she is 92 and very hard of hearing?... After repeating to grandma to turn the stove off for the 4th time... grandma then wanted to know why... then who was the DNR... then... a loud quack from the basement and a scream, a crash, the another quack and a few more screams... I ran to the top of the stairs and looked down... a duck (the mallard w/the lives of a cat) waddled past... Lance waddling after it... and Logan after Lance (if you can picture this, just spead your feet about 2 feet apart, squat, put your elbows on your knees and try to walk...)... the a loud thunk... quacking stopped... screaming stopped... then loud QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!!! More screams.... duck waddling back in opposite direction past stairs, then Lance, then Logan... duck had banged right into closet door in basement... knocked itself out for a moment... so again gone into shock... not sure there... anyway I guess you would have to ask the duck... oh wait you can't...
The boys were in still in somewhat of a panic and to be honest so were Mike and I... we really hadn't been in to much trouble with the law before and never with guns... but we decided it would be best if we showed a good example to our children if we told the truth and faced what ever consequences we had to face... that seemed to calm them down some...
Mike finally took care of the duck... just in time too, the DNR and the police had just arrived... after explaining to grandma why they were there, for the 3rd time... they then turned to Mike and stated 'She can't hear us can she?'... So Mike explained what he did and why he did it... They explained that it was illegal to shoot a fire in town and kill a duck out of season without a license... Then he looked straight at Mike and said, "We have to take the gun... you used a BB gun right?..." He was shacking his head yes and with out thinking both Mike and I started shaking our heads yes too... "I will need the gun... do you still have the BB you used?"... We froze... thats when Lance spoke up and said yes... it was in the basement and he would get it... and he went down and got Mikes BB gun from when he was a kid!! I stood there not even sure what to do... The officer then continued to talk and walk us through various things... Logan had disapeared... finally after telling us we would be fined and would have to go to court to find out how much he told us we would have to give him the ducks... Mike went down to the basement and got the plastic bag he had wrapped the ducks in and handed it to the man... he felt the sack carefully and then said there was only 1 duck... and he was going to take it out to the truck and be right back in with papers we would have to sign... Mike and I said nothing... we just stood there staring at each other... Lance had disapeared along with his brother... The officer returned, papers in hand... Mike signed them and he left... at which point both Mike and I heard sobbing coming from the basement steps... there sat both boys, crying... Logan spoke out first "He is going to open up that sack and find out there were 2 ducks!"... then Lance, "Yea, and then he is going to cut them open and find out I lied and it wasn't a BB gun!"... Again Mike and I could do nothing but look at each other... After some hugs and reasuring them it was going to be alright, Mike tried to explain to them that the officer really did know the truth, but he didn't want to see daddy get into really big trouble when he didn't mean too... Lance was old enough to understand this a little and he thought thats why the officer was so weird when he asked for the gun... As the the looked up to brother he was within minutes he had gotten Logan calmed down too. We walked back up the stairs and into the kitchen and there stood grandma hands on her hips, disgusted look on her face as she spoke, "THEY TOOK OUR DUCKS!!" We tried to tell her what had happened... she said yea.. yea.. she knew all that... but WHY DID THEY TAKE OUR DUCKS?!....
Like the mallard this story isn't done yet... The day of court... Mike's 2 uncles, his mom, and his grandma all went with us... They had all agreed Mike was not going to pay the fines when he did it for his grandma... As Mike went before the Judge, they had different people there to represent the Ducks Unlimited, prosecution, DNR, etc. the Judge listened to the case... then grandma got up and walked right up to the Judge... no one said anything... I mean what do you say to an old 92 year old woman who is 'waddling' up to the Judge? Everyone stopped talking as she spoke up, "Judge, my grandson did this for me and if you give him any fines I am going to pay for it. And if he has to spend any time in jail, he can't he has got a family and he has to work. I am 92 and I don't have anything better to do so I will go for him." And she turned back around and went and sat down... The Judge was the first to speak "I will fine him the minimium he can be fined..."
After that we decided 'DAD' was the best at taking care of the troublesome ducks... But grandma sure knew how to talk to a Judge!
Could there be a lesson to be learned here?
Believe it or not this story IS NOT MADE UP!
Out of my mind!!
13"If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, that therefore all died. 15And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.
16So from now on we regard no one from a worldy point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone the new has come! 18 All this from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has commited to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God. 21God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
6As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. 2For He says,
In the time of my favor I heard you,
and in the day of salvation I helped you.
I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation."
2 Corinthians 5:13 ~ 6:2
This morning I rode my bike into work... I love to ride down by the river!! I just feel so blessed and free... But I am quite sure that people think I am out of my mind... It is the look on their face as I ride by them with a big smile and a cheerful "GOOD MORNING!" that gives it away... or it could be my big granny bike with a basket on the front, pinwell sticking out of it, bandana blowing in the wind, pant leg stuck in sock, singing aloud with a voice that God must love (because His hasn't stopped me from singing and He hasn't changed my voice yet), and then, at last but greatest a little bike license plate off the back seat stating "Jesus loves me". And then it hits me... 2 Cor. 5:13... oh my... I am being at this very moment His living word... whoa!!! Not doing anything spectacular or grand... just simply ridding my bike to work... How awsome is that!! I can do this because of Him... I am happy because of Him... I share it because of Him... CRAZY!?! I don't know... maybe... but I look at it this way... people thought I was crazy before and I was unhappy... people think I am crazy now and I a happy... so no matter what someone is going to think I am crazy... and only He can make me happy... I love the way I am now... the way He made me... oh... here its goes again... happy brings on happy brings on happy... get the picture... why do we always define insanity as a bad thing... Isn't insanity repeating the same thing over and over again... oh yea I forgot... EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT... I am doing the same thing over and over and getting better and BETTER results!!! I guess to the world they may be a little insane!! Good thing I am not from this world!!! Oh... PaPa!!! Thank-you!! Thank-you!! Thank-you for the blessing of being out of my mind!!! And with it a new creation, bringing FREEDOM, HAPPINESS, and BOLDNESS to let you shine through!! Give me the strength and courage I need to continue my "insanity" in You!! Bless all of Your children with this "Insane Love" (You love me... I mess up... You love me... I mess up... You love... I mess up... You Love me... etc. then one day... hmmm different result!! And the world calls this insane!! I call it ... our deliverance... Salvation!!!...wonderful... Thank-you for Your "insanity"!! And not giving up on us!!) and give us all the courage to show it to others!! Because today may be the day You will use us for Your favor and the day of salvation for another!!! ALL the glory is Yours!! Well I am off... heading back home that is... to my earthy home... on my bike... down by the river... AMEN!!!
Singing.... "I am a promise! I am a possiblity!! I am a promise, with a capital P!! I am a great big bundle of Potentiality... And if I listen I can hear God's voice... and if I'm trying He'll help me make the right choice!!..." O.K. I am going....
16So from now on we regard no one from a worldy point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone the new has come! 18 All this from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has commited to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God. 21God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
6As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. 2For He says,
In the time of my favor I heard you,
and in the day of salvation I helped you.
I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation."
2 Corinthians 5:13 ~ 6:2
This morning I rode my bike into work... I love to ride down by the river!! I just feel so blessed and free... But I am quite sure that people think I am out of my mind... It is the look on their face as I ride by them with a big smile and a cheerful "GOOD MORNING!" that gives it away... or it could be my big granny bike with a basket on the front, pinwell sticking out of it, bandana blowing in the wind, pant leg stuck in sock, singing aloud with a voice that God must love (because His hasn't stopped me from singing and He hasn't changed my voice yet), and then, at last but greatest a little bike license plate off the back seat stating "Jesus loves me". And then it hits me... 2 Cor. 5:13... oh my... I am being at this very moment His living word... whoa!!! Not doing anything spectacular or grand... just simply ridding my bike to work... How awsome is that!! I can do this because of Him... I am happy because of Him... I share it because of Him... CRAZY!?! I don't know... maybe... but I look at it this way... people thought I was crazy before and I was unhappy... people think I am crazy now and I a happy... so no matter what someone is going to think I am crazy... and only He can make me happy... I love the way I am now... the way He made me... oh... here its goes again... happy brings on happy brings on happy... get the picture... why do we always define insanity as a bad thing... Isn't insanity repeating the same thing over and over again... oh yea I forgot... EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT... I am doing the same thing over and over and getting better and BETTER results!!! I guess to the world they may be a little insane!! Good thing I am not from this world!!! Oh... PaPa!!! Thank-you!! Thank-you!! Thank-you for the blessing of being out of my mind!!! And with it a new creation, bringing FREEDOM, HAPPINESS, and BOLDNESS to let you shine through!! Give me the strength and courage I need to continue my "insanity" in You!! Bless all of Your children with this "Insane Love" (You love me... I mess up... You love me... I mess up... You love... I mess up... You Love me... etc. then one day... hmmm different result!! And the world calls this insane!! I call it ... our deliverance... Salvation!!!...wonderful... Thank-you for Your "insanity"!! And not giving up on us!!) and give us all the courage to show it to others!! Because today may be the day You will use us for Your favor and the day of salvation for another!!! ALL the glory is Yours!! Well I am off... heading back home that is... to my earthy home... on my bike... down by the river... AMEN!!!
Singing.... "I am a promise! I am a possiblity!! I am a promise, with a capital P!! I am a great big bundle of Potentiality... And if I listen I can hear God's voice... and if I'm trying He'll help me make the right choice!!..." O.K. I am going....
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I am not a goat!!
"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."
Proverbs 28:13
Definition of prosper:
1 : to succeed in an enterprise or activity; especially : to achieve economic success
2 : to become strong and flourishing
transitive verb: to cause to succeed or thrive
To SUCCEED!! Yes... Now thats what I am talking about!!! This little verse says volumes to me...
This week I was faced with the reality of my past... And to be honest with you... I didn't handle it as well as I should have... at first anyway... Within a 10 minute phone convesation I went through my past as though I was there living it again... The thoughts of old flashed brightly in front of me... REGRESSING... or so I thought... the thoughts of how my very existence was a terrible burden to everyone... I seem to do nothing but bring pain to everyone I love or care about... It was ALL my fault... I was the only one who could change it... and until I changed... (I was being told this and even getting caught up in believing it)... Then... BANG!!! It hit me!!! Change!!! I AM CHANGED!!! I may not be who I need to be... but I sure am not who I was!!! I am CHANGING... right at this very moment!!! God reminded me of my vision of the goat... it's big eyes looking up at me as a multitude of hands were laid on it... it's eyes first pleading for help... then panic... then turning wild... loosing all control and wildly trying to break loose... running into the woods... banging into the trunks of the trees...
20"When Aaron has finished making atonement for the Most Holy Place, the Tent of Meeting and the altar, he shall bring forward the live goat. 21He is to lay both hands on the head of the live goat and confess over it all the wickedness and rebellion of the Israelites~ ALL THEIR SINS~ and put them on the goat's head. He shall send the goat away into the desert in care of a MAN APPOINTED FOR THE TASK. 22The goat will carry on itself all their sins to a solitary place; and THE MAN shall release it in the desert."
Letiticus 16:20-22
SCAPEGOAT!!!!
I AM NOT A GOAT SO I BETTER QUIT ACTING LIKE ONE!!!
If I take on the sins of everyone... duh... I AM NOT THE MAN APPOINTED FOR THE TASK!!! And if I try to be... for one I will be that wild goat banging into trees... and two what am I saying to my Father who created me... and to His Son... who by the way was... is... and will always be the MAN APPOINTED FOR THE TASK!!!
Thank-you JESUS!!! Yes!!! I have Jesus!!! Unlike before, my eyes are open... I know He did this for me... I never was, am not, nor will be the scapegoat!!! How crazy!!! How insane!!! Really, think about it... can it be possible to sin by taking on everyone's sin?.... Oh, PaPa I am so sorry for making it all about me, for taking on a task that was never meant for me, for trying to be more than I am. And words cannot say how awsome you are... how greatful I am that You gave Your only Son for the task... how greatful I am that You, Jesus gave Your life for us... For opening my eyes to see... I have You!!!... If I did not I would be that goat... the pittiful drunk... looking for love in all the wrong places... trying to end my life... turning to the worlds way for comfort... back to the hell... NO!!!!
Your Mercy... OH YOUR MERCY... YOUR MERCY IS ENOUGH!!! Your Mercy falls over Your children... over me... the sheep who was lost... but now is found!!! Father, God open our eyes to see... we are not goats... give us the strength we need to quit acting like one! To succeed... to prosper!!
Proverbs 28:13
Definition of prosper:
1 : to succeed in an enterprise or activity; especially : to achieve economic success
2 : to become strong and flourishing
transitive verb: to cause to succeed or thrive
To SUCCEED!! Yes... Now thats what I am talking about!!! This little verse says volumes to me...
This week I was faced with the reality of my past... And to be honest with you... I didn't handle it as well as I should have... at first anyway... Within a 10 minute phone convesation I went through my past as though I was there living it again... The thoughts of old flashed brightly in front of me... REGRESSING... or so I thought... the thoughts of how my very existence was a terrible burden to everyone... I seem to do nothing but bring pain to everyone I love or care about... It was ALL my fault... I was the only one who could change it... and until I changed... (I was being told this and even getting caught up in believing it)... Then... BANG!!! It hit me!!! Change!!! I AM CHANGED!!! I may not be who I need to be... but I sure am not who I was!!! I am CHANGING... right at this very moment!!! God reminded me of my vision of the goat... it's big eyes looking up at me as a multitude of hands were laid on it... it's eyes first pleading for help... then panic... then turning wild... loosing all control and wildly trying to break loose... running into the woods... banging into the trunks of the trees...
20"When Aaron has finished making atonement for the Most Holy Place, the Tent of Meeting and the altar, he shall bring forward the live goat. 21He is to lay both hands on the head of the live goat and confess over it all the wickedness and rebellion of the Israelites~ ALL THEIR SINS~ and put them on the goat's head. He shall send the goat away into the desert in care of a MAN APPOINTED FOR THE TASK. 22The goat will carry on itself all their sins to a solitary place; and THE MAN shall release it in the desert."
Letiticus 16:20-22
SCAPEGOAT!!!!
I AM NOT A GOAT SO I BETTER QUIT ACTING LIKE ONE!!!
If I take on the sins of everyone... duh... I AM NOT THE MAN APPOINTED FOR THE TASK!!! And if I try to be... for one I will be that wild goat banging into trees... and two what am I saying to my Father who created me... and to His Son... who by the way was... is... and will always be the MAN APPOINTED FOR THE TASK!!!
Thank-you JESUS!!! Yes!!! I have Jesus!!! Unlike before, my eyes are open... I know He did this for me... I never was, am not, nor will be the scapegoat!!! How crazy!!! How insane!!! Really, think about it... can it be possible to sin by taking on everyone's sin?.... Oh, PaPa I am so sorry for making it all about me, for taking on a task that was never meant for me, for trying to be more than I am. And words cannot say how awsome you are... how greatful I am that You gave Your only Son for the task... how greatful I am that You, Jesus gave Your life for us... For opening my eyes to see... I have You!!!... If I did not I would be that goat... the pittiful drunk... looking for love in all the wrong places... trying to end my life... turning to the worlds way for comfort... back to the hell... NO!!!!
Your Mercy... OH YOUR MERCY... YOUR MERCY IS ENOUGH!!! Your Mercy falls over Your children... over me... the sheep who was lost... but now is found!!! Father, God open our eyes to see... we are not goats... give us the strength we need to quit acting like one! To succeed... to prosper!!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
More Powerful than hell!
With Easter just passing... I... like most people tend to think a little more on His death and resurrection with a little more intensity... The thoughts of how much He did for us becomes so overwhelming that I am brought to tears... o.k. I know that doesn't take much... well over the last few months the Holy Spirit has really been working on me with understanding His true power and greatness...
17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. 18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches if His glorios inheritance in the saints, 19 and HIS INCOMPARABLY GREAT POWER for us who believe. That POWER is like the working of HIS MIGHTY STRENGTH, 20 WHICH HE EXERTED IN CHRIST WHEN HE RAISED HIM FROM THE DEAD...
Ephesians 1:17~20a
You know how you can know something... even know it well... or so you think... and then BAM!!!! God just knocks you up side the head with a new revelation of it?.. Or even refreshes something you have forgotten... Well thats what happened!! He revealed to me HIS INCOMPARABLY GREAT POWER!! Last year at this time He showed me a smidgen of the hurt and pain that Christ felt at the time He cried out "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"... the thoughts of that... He was ALWAYS with the Father... and the Father was ALWAYS with Him... then suddenly they were parted... overwhelming thoughts... ones I know I can not truly fully comperhend... and then this year... He asked softly... "Do you know and truly understand the power it took to reach into hell and pull Him, My son, Christ Jesus out?" WHO? WHO can do that?!? OUR FATHER!!! Thats WHO!! He is the ONLY one with that power!!! Satan and his followers won't even be able to do that!! WOW... what more can be said?... HE DID THIS FOR US!!! AMEN!! PRAISE BE TO GOD!!! With the power to reach into the depths of hell to save us!! TO HIM ALL THE PRAISE AND GLORY!!! YES!!! His power is that great!!! And I am HIS... Satan and his followers CAN'T touch me!! Sould my physical body parish... I get to go home with my Father!! PaPa reveal Your power to us... open our eyes to Your incomparable greatness... filling us with with Your confidence... and strength to take our stand against the enemy!! With You for us... who or what can be against us? What hold can death or even hell have over us? Oh.... what can express the graditude... I feel...
17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. 18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches if His glorios inheritance in the saints, 19 and HIS INCOMPARABLY GREAT POWER for us who believe. That POWER is like the working of HIS MIGHTY STRENGTH, 20 WHICH HE EXERTED IN CHRIST WHEN HE RAISED HIM FROM THE DEAD...
Ephesians 1:17~20a
You know how you can know something... even know it well... or so you think... and then BAM!!!! God just knocks you up side the head with a new revelation of it?.. Or even refreshes something you have forgotten... Well thats what happened!! He revealed to me HIS INCOMPARABLY GREAT POWER!! Last year at this time He showed me a smidgen of the hurt and pain that Christ felt at the time He cried out "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"... the thoughts of that... He was ALWAYS with the Father... and the Father was ALWAYS with Him... then suddenly they were parted... overwhelming thoughts... ones I know I can not truly fully comperhend... and then this year... He asked softly... "Do you know and truly understand the power it took to reach into hell and pull Him, My son, Christ Jesus out?" WHO? WHO can do that?!? OUR FATHER!!! Thats WHO!! He is the ONLY one with that power!!! Satan and his followers won't even be able to do that!! WOW... what more can be said?... HE DID THIS FOR US!!! AMEN!! PRAISE BE TO GOD!!! With the power to reach into the depths of hell to save us!! TO HIM ALL THE PRAISE AND GLORY!!! YES!!! His power is that great!!! And I am HIS... Satan and his followers CAN'T touch me!! Sould my physical body parish... I get to go home with my Father!! PaPa reveal Your power to us... open our eyes to Your incomparable greatness... filling us with with Your confidence... and strength to take our stand against the enemy!! With You for us... who or what can be against us? What hold can death or even hell have over us? Oh.... what can express the graditude... I feel...
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I am a "testimony" to His great love!!!
Where would I be if it were not for Christ? The following list is not made to get pitty or sympathy... just to state facts to establish the grand plan of it all...
In the last 4 years my family has been through some major life changes:
Our older son Lance, moved away from home... not a leaving the nest thing... but with anger and bitterness (my mother took us to court... March 14th, 2006... Lance's Birthday)... dropped out of school... dated a girl and getting her pregnant... more on that later.
My last attempt on my life was October 28th, 2006... right before my fathers passing... Had I not been so drunk I would had shot myself (I couldn't load the gun.)...
My biological father... (we had been astranged by circumstances out of our control)... had heart surgery and came to live with us... he pasted away December 21st, 2006...in our home.
January 20th, 2007 I was delievered from depression... I woke up the next day and for the first time that I could remember I didn't want to die... my family said there was a physical change... I even quit drinking... along with a lot of other things.
At the end of Febuary, 2007, my cousin had gotten herself in some trouble with drugs and DHS took her children... 4 girls... two stated with their father... the younger 2 we didn't want to see go into foster care (their father was in prison at the time), so we brought them to our home... this was tuff for my cousin... she came to resent us for it... and since the return of her girls it has been difficult to have any kind of relationship.
Our older son broke up with our grandchild's mother before he was born... he wanted nothing to do with her... or the baby... we did... he was born Sept. 19, 2007... his mother took him back to Arizona when he was two months old.
January 23rd, 2008 I had relapse with drinking... hit the back end of semi... major... God forgave me!! He let me live!!... And in turn I chose to draw even closer to Him.
March 13th, 2008 Mike's company just up and shut its doors... he was able to get job... less pay... gas prices went up... groceries... etc... Fighting to keep up on house payment...
September, 2008 our grandbaby's mom decided to bring him for a visit... after staying with us for a couple of weeks she decided to move back here... later found out it was because of a new boyfriend... who she moved in with... grandson showing signs of abuse... started to keep record... they took off to Florida... 34 days later I got phone call... our grandson had been beat to death... his older brother had witnessed the whole thing...
Like I said I don't bring this up for pitty or sympathy... because... God was with me!!! He did what it was going to take for me to come to the FULL ~ FINAL decision that I want Him... need Him... and I know with the best of my ability that He loves me and I am His!!
I do not yet know the plans God has for our astranged son, or the relationship with my family... But I know He is working it out for the greater good and when it's time he will reveal it to us...
I spent most of my life without a reltionship with my real father, before he past, I was able to spend 6 wonderful weeks with him... I wanted more than anything to be loved by him... and I had spent years believing that he didn't love me... God gave me the time and opportunity to see that differently... And the chance to witness to him... my father turned his life over to Christ before he died... I was there to witness it!
His death forced me over the edge... I hated my life and the fact that I could not seem to end it... I drank and druged to self medicate... I would only sleep a couple of hours at a time... always drug induced... I was tired of being tired!!! I had no other choice but to hand my life over to my Heavenly Father...On January 20th, 2007 I gave God ALL my broken pieces and then He was able to fix me... I went FACEDOWN... Laying at His feet EVERYTHING!!! Do you know that when you have horrible things to face in life you are given the ability to see and know how wonderful the good things are?!!! I thank God He has shown me what it takes to see when I am heading back into a life of ungreatfulness and selfeshness. I feel blessed to see and know Him!! I AM BLESSED!! Do you know what happens to a person when they come to realize they are loved after years and years of not knowing it?
God blessed me with the ability and resources needed to care for my cousins children... and I know He opened doors there that other wise were shut... This too is a part of His great plans... and I continue to pray that eyes be opened and the right choices be made in the lives of my family.
It can still be hard when things pile up... and if you are not careful you can and will end up going back to the old habits of your sinful nature... I know... I have been there... I started my day off like I had everyday for a year... reading devotions with my family and putting on my armor... I even went to prayer group... I had many things on my mind... the girls... my grandson... my cousin... my son... my mother... everything but what I was doing... before I knew it I had been to a least four bars and it had gone from from 11:00am January 22nd to 2:15am January 23rd, 2008... I was leaving a bar talking to a 'friend' of mine who asked if I would be o.k. to drive home... famous last words... 'I am fine'... I got into the van got going down the road and realized what I had done... I cried out to God in tears... told Him I did not want to be here anymore... and I asked Him to do what it would take to get me to stop!! I turned and looked on the passenger seat and there was my bible from earlier... I picked it up in my hand and turn to face the road again... There 10 feet in front of me was a semi stopped at a train track... I was going 55 mph... God said STOP! (I still have my bible... the outside cover missing)... Again God saved my life... I saw miracle after miracle as my body healed... This in itself is a long story... maybe I will share it sometime later...
I have learned that I may not see His grand plan all carried out in someone elses life, I may only be a step towards it... This being the case with our grandchild and his mother... I was give love by God to love her... I still love her... I can only say this because of the love HE has given me... This young man who beat our grandson to death... I truly have no hate for... this only can be because of HIS love for me... My prayers are that his eyes be opened to Gods love for him and the demonic forces around him loose their hold... our grandsons life is worth that... And knowing the blessing that it is that our grandson is no longer suffering from his abuse... he is in the arms of God!! God heard my prayer to do what it would take to keep him safe... He did what it took...
The death of our grandson just took me even deeper into my relationship with the Father...
We are now in present going through a forecloser... God has provided a different home for us... one that is closer to our work and our church family... when this is done we will not have the debt hanging over our heads... God is removing the financial stress we have been under and bringing peace... And I am learning that He can work so much more in my life if I don't have these worldly stresses hanging over my head...
With that said, I now need to work on loosing the 25 pounds I gained when I quit smoking... then I think I may just about be perfect... LOL!!!!! No really... then I pray that I be open to the next thing He wants to change in me... Look how well He has been doing... why would I even want to go back to trying my way...
Oh, Father please continue to do what it takes to keep me in line with your grand plan... And also for my brothers and sisters in you... giving us the strength to get through the facts of our lives and look towards the grand plans You have for our lives... Amen!!!
In the last 4 years my family has been through some major life changes:
Our older son Lance, moved away from home... not a leaving the nest thing... but with anger and bitterness (my mother took us to court... March 14th, 2006... Lance's Birthday)... dropped out of school... dated a girl and getting her pregnant... more on that later.
My last attempt on my life was October 28th, 2006... right before my fathers passing... Had I not been so drunk I would had shot myself (I couldn't load the gun.)...
My biological father... (we had been astranged by circumstances out of our control)... had heart surgery and came to live with us... he pasted away December 21st, 2006...in our home.
January 20th, 2007 I was delievered from depression... I woke up the next day and for the first time that I could remember I didn't want to die... my family said there was a physical change... I even quit drinking... along with a lot of other things.
At the end of Febuary, 2007, my cousin had gotten herself in some trouble with drugs and DHS took her children... 4 girls... two stated with their father... the younger 2 we didn't want to see go into foster care (their father was in prison at the time), so we brought them to our home... this was tuff for my cousin... she came to resent us for it... and since the return of her girls it has been difficult to have any kind of relationship.
Our older son broke up with our grandchild's mother before he was born... he wanted nothing to do with her... or the baby... we did... he was born Sept. 19, 2007... his mother took him back to Arizona when he was two months old.
January 23rd, 2008 I had relapse with drinking... hit the back end of semi... major... God forgave me!! He let me live!!... And in turn I chose to draw even closer to Him.
March 13th, 2008 Mike's company just up and shut its doors... he was able to get job... less pay... gas prices went up... groceries... etc... Fighting to keep up on house payment...
September, 2008 our grandbaby's mom decided to bring him for a visit... after staying with us for a couple of weeks she decided to move back here... later found out it was because of a new boyfriend... who she moved in with... grandson showing signs of abuse... started to keep record... they took off to Florida... 34 days later I got phone call... our grandson had been beat to death... his older brother had witnessed the whole thing...
Like I said I don't bring this up for pitty or sympathy... because... God was with me!!! He did what it was going to take for me to come to the FULL ~ FINAL decision that I want Him... need Him... and I know with the best of my ability that He loves me and I am His!!
I do not yet know the plans God has for our astranged son, or the relationship with my family... But I know He is working it out for the greater good and when it's time he will reveal it to us...
I spent most of my life without a reltionship with my real father, before he past, I was able to spend 6 wonderful weeks with him... I wanted more than anything to be loved by him... and I had spent years believing that he didn't love me... God gave me the time and opportunity to see that differently... And the chance to witness to him... my father turned his life over to Christ before he died... I was there to witness it!
His death forced me over the edge... I hated my life and the fact that I could not seem to end it... I drank and druged to self medicate... I would only sleep a couple of hours at a time... always drug induced... I was tired of being tired!!! I had no other choice but to hand my life over to my Heavenly Father...On January 20th, 2007 I gave God ALL my broken pieces and then He was able to fix me... I went FACEDOWN... Laying at His feet EVERYTHING!!! Do you know that when you have horrible things to face in life you are given the ability to see and know how wonderful the good things are?!!! I thank God He has shown me what it takes to see when I am heading back into a life of ungreatfulness and selfeshness. I feel blessed to see and know Him!! I AM BLESSED!! Do you know what happens to a person when they come to realize they are loved after years and years of not knowing it?
God blessed me with the ability and resources needed to care for my cousins children... and I know He opened doors there that other wise were shut... This too is a part of His great plans... and I continue to pray that eyes be opened and the right choices be made in the lives of my family.
It can still be hard when things pile up... and if you are not careful you can and will end up going back to the old habits of your sinful nature... I know... I have been there... I started my day off like I had everyday for a year... reading devotions with my family and putting on my armor... I even went to prayer group... I had many things on my mind... the girls... my grandson... my cousin... my son... my mother... everything but what I was doing... before I knew it I had been to a least four bars and it had gone from from 11:00am January 22nd to 2:15am January 23rd, 2008... I was leaving a bar talking to a 'friend' of mine who asked if I would be o.k. to drive home... famous last words... 'I am fine'... I got into the van got going down the road and realized what I had done... I cried out to God in tears... told Him I did not want to be here anymore... and I asked Him to do what it would take to get me to stop!! I turned and looked on the passenger seat and there was my bible from earlier... I picked it up in my hand and turn to face the road again... There 10 feet in front of me was a semi stopped at a train track... I was going 55 mph... God said STOP! (I still have my bible... the outside cover missing)... Again God saved my life... I saw miracle after miracle as my body healed... This in itself is a long story... maybe I will share it sometime later...
I have learned that I may not see His grand plan all carried out in someone elses life, I may only be a step towards it... This being the case with our grandchild and his mother... I was give love by God to love her... I still love her... I can only say this because of the love HE has given me... This young man who beat our grandson to death... I truly have no hate for... this only can be because of HIS love for me... My prayers are that his eyes be opened to Gods love for him and the demonic forces around him loose their hold... our grandsons life is worth that... And knowing the blessing that it is that our grandson is no longer suffering from his abuse... he is in the arms of God!! God heard my prayer to do what it would take to keep him safe... He did what it took...
The death of our grandson just took me even deeper into my relationship with the Father...
We are now in present going through a forecloser... God has provided a different home for us... one that is closer to our work and our church family... when this is done we will not have the debt hanging over our heads... God is removing the financial stress we have been under and bringing peace... And I am learning that He can work so much more in my life if I don't have these worldly stresses hanging over my head...
With that said, I now need to work on loosing the 25 pounds I gained when I quit smoking... then I think I may just about be perfect... LOL!!!!! No really... then I pray that I be open to the next thing He wants to change in me... Look how well He has been doing... why would I even want to go back to trying my way...
Oh, Father please continue to do what it takes to keep me in line with your grand plan... And also for my brothers and sisters in you... giving us the strength to get through the facts of our lives and look towards the grand plans You have for our lives... Amen!!!
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