Thoughts of moving...

Over the last few years our family has been changing... making different choices... setting new priorities... Thoughts are changing... even desires... five years ago we would have thought anyone was nuts if they would have said we would be WANTing to move into Waterloo... little alone the 'east side'... did I mention,we will be moving to Waterloo April 1st... I am so excited I can barely contain myself... beyond the usual even!!!
When I was growing up we moved a lot... I mean A LOT... the was one school year I went to 5 different schools! I went from Cedar Falls, Ackley, Greene, North Cedar, back to Cedar Falls, Waterloo, back to Cedar Falls, etc... But for the most part we ended up in Cedar Falls... None the less this really put a lot of desire to see/want my own children to grow up in one place. I was in hopes that they could experience making lifetime friends, knowing them from kindergarden up... growing up together... just having that ... stabbility...
Then Lance... our oldest... he moved away at 16 and never even finished school...There are many issues facing the departure of Lance... One of which is his dropping out of school... This was just one of the disapointments... I took this hard... And I had it set in my head this would never be the case for Logan... Well... Never say never... No Logan is not dropping out... 2 months ago we knew we would be moving... but Logan WOULD be open inrolling at Dunkerton... well... that two is being prayed about... and we are excited to see the route we will be taking...
And that brings me to the whole point of writing this... I got to tell you... I really thought that this "move" was going to be challenging... I mean with all the circumstances... the foreclosure... peace... when we have to be out... peace... where will we go... peace... But, there was this part of me that just kept thinking that God was going to really test us in our trust in Him... I continuely had been thinking I will trust Him... no matter how difficult it gets... and waiting for it to get difficult... I will trust Him!!!... Now don't think I am saying poor me here... but I do have to say the last 3 years have been full of trusting Him... in the mist of very diffcult situations... and I really was thinking that would be the case here... expecting it!... and to tell you the truth I think deep down I still may be thinking it... this is so bad..... God is opening up doors like you wouldn't believe!! Things are happening so smooth... I think I may even be still waiting for the 'bomb' to drop. I know I should be thanking & praising God... and I am... but as bad as it is... I feel like I am not doing it whole heartedly like I should because I keep thinking... that this is just to easy and not challenging enough... why would God make it go so easy... sounds so crazy doesn't it? What 'lesson' could He possibly be teaching me? What is it I should be learning?
Oh, wow! What if that's it?... What if He is just doing it without any challenge or struggle to go through! Does He do that? Why am I alway thinking that I have to go through a struggle to get anything from God? I am I the only one who struggles with this? Could it just possibly be that He is not expecting me to do anything... and just wants to show me not everything has to come with a struggle? Could that really be possible?? Why am I struggling so badly with the lack of struggle?? I am facing this in even more personal struggles... is it part of my old self that is so negative?? Is it a 'need' or do a dare say... could it be an addiction? Do I need to surrender my need to struggle??
Oh, Father please help me to believe! Show me the truth...Open my eyes to see! Give me peace about all the peace! Help me to except this! Remove the fear I have of this or any other changes in my life that are happening... So that I may openly, full heartedly praise You! I trust You! I do, please help me with my untrust!! PRAISE BE TO THE FATHER THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT!!

I love you... BUT...

What does it mean to say I love you in Christ... But I really don't like you... Does that even make sense? Is that even possible... And to be honest with you I have never read anywhere in His Word that justifies that statement... Yet I hear it out of the mouths of my brothers and sisters all the time... And I struggle with it myself. 1 John 2:9-11 states that if I am in the light I can not hate my brother... and what is dislike? it is not the same as love... you can not love and dislike someone at the same time!!! And when it is one brother/sister in Christ stating it to another... 1 John 2:6 says if we claim to live in Him we need to be like Him... I never heard of Christ ever making a statement like that. He wants us to hate sin, but love the sinner. I believe that Christ has died, buried, and rose again for me, as well as everyone else... And I believe that once we accept that we redemed and become righteous... Not because of what we did... But because of what He did... and at that point we are no longer sinners but saints... (I understand that doesn't mean that we no longer sin... I look at it like a runner... a runner runs everyday... runs marathons... conditions himself...etc...  Now I am no runner... but I can run!).
So now if we are to hate the sin but love the sinner... what more should we be for our brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus? And how can it be comforting and incouraging to hear from a fellow brother/sister in Christ that "I love you in Christ, but I really don't like you." My mind races of into so many different direction with this... It makes it sound like it is a chore to love... its not... it's a gift... it makes it sound like we do it only because it is required of us... it's not it is a choice... Col. 3:3-4 says Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all virtues put on love, which binds you together in perfect unity... How can one say they love you, but don't like you and there be unity? Don't misunderstand me in my words... unity does not mean we have to agree with everything every brother/sister in Christ does... boy would we be in trouble if we did... but the opposite of unity is diversity and think about that... I can not love and dislike someone at the same time!! That is diversity... and we are only decieving ourself if we think we can do/have both.
So next time I feel like I can't stand to be around someone... especially one of my brothers/sisters in Christ... I pray that God remind me that it is one or the other... it can't be both... it is walking in light or dark... It is a choice... It is a gift... do I choose to accept it or decline...
I can not change the way someone feels about me, but I can change how I feel about them... and if I choose to love... then there is no room for dislike... and with that can I love them enough to let my frustations of their behavior go?...accepting them for WHOSE they are and not who they are?... and can I get my priorities in proper order?... putting the commandments of Christ first and LOVE with my heart, soul... and MIND?
I pray for a change that is pleasing to God... Not of my own or others... but God. Oh, my PaPa I ask of you now to lead me and direct me... humble me where I need to be humbled and help me to stand my ground where my enemies are... for I know in my heart that your love brings unity... please help to believe this in my mind... freeing me of any bondage from the enemies of this dark world is scheming for me... not setting myself up to be a scapegoat... Letting your love flow like a river through me... pouring out unto others... giving ALL PRAISE AND GLORY TO YOU!!! Keep me from making the same mistakes of my past... and letting you lead and direct my future... For it is ALL ABOUT YOU!! PRAISE YOU JESUS!!! Remind me my rewards in pleasing others are NOTHING compared to my rewards for pleasing You!! Taking anything that my enemies meant for destruction and death making it Your victory and eternal life!! I thank-you for loving me regardless of my flaws and failures and creating in me a new heart and right Spirit. Thank-you for opening my eyes to see what You love means and giving me take love to love others.

Peace in the snow

Over the last few weeks I have been suffering with a very painful back... It started with my shoulder... At least I thought it did... but after a week of pain meds and mucle relaxers I realized it probably started with my lower back and then worked it's way up. I bring this up only because of the memory of what I did that caused the whole thing anyway... I was told not to share this with anyone... for the simple fact that I would justify anyone's belief that I am a airhead... But its just so... so... powerful... and so fitting to me and my personality... so here it goes... you can even laugh if you want... I did... once I figured it out...
It all started with a snow storm we had last month...I can't remember which one, so you can pick one... you have many to choose from LOL!... Anyway I got home from working at church and the snow had drifted up the drive (AGAIN!)... Mike and Logan were not home and the snow was to deep to drive through... I had no choice but to shovel... Now, I have a little bit of a back issue (2 back sugeries)... so Mike doesn't like it much when I do something I probably shouldn't... but I really felt I had no choice... I couldn't just leave the car out in the road... the blade might come by and bury the car completely... So I prayed about it...
I grabbed the shovel and when to the end of the drive and started shoveling... and praying... talking to God... just enjoying myself... Out here in the country I have the luxury of talking out loud to God and no one but God hears me (well, almost no one... maybe a few wild animals and some birds... and of course my dog Lochsanna... but she is used to it)... It was wonderful... Awsome in fact!... So I am taking my sweet time as I moved the snow from the drive over to the big snow bank, when I notice... little peace signs... all over in the snow... now if you know me, you know how truly awsome I think this is!!!... Well... I looked down... walking in circles... just amazed... then I wondered, how did those get there... and thinking... WOW, GOD YOU REALLY ARE TRULY AMAZING!!!... Then it hit me... I lifted up my foot to look at the bottom of my new boots... sure enough... There were peace signs on the bottom of my boots!!!... I could almost hear God laughing... and I am sure I entertained a few angels... But the best part was hearing that still small voice saying... "My peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you..." John 14:27
O.K. maybe I should have known that my boots had peace signs on them... they definitely screamed 'Flower child'... Tye-dye and happy face all the way...  And after all I had looked at them at least 4 or 5 times before I bought them (I was waiting for them to go on sale)... But that too only ended up being a realization from God... His peace is always with me... even when I don't notice it... even before a snow storm... even through a snow storm... even after a snow storm... Praise God for His peace!!!... Praise God for His comical way of showing me!!!... Praise God for His Joy!!! And praise God for His healing of me!!!... And I praise God for the strength and endurance He is giving me while I am waiting...  PRAISE GOD!!!!

Tears

I weep. I mean I really weep... alot. I can tear up at just about anything... no lie. I cry when I am sad... I cry when I am happy... I cry when I am confused... tired... angry... upset... you name the emotion and I can cry you right through it. I have even cried because I cry! I have been that way ever since I can remember. If God is holding my tears like he did King David's... I probably am responsible for a big ocean in Heaven! When I was delivered of my depression January 20th 2007 I thought for sure I wouldn't cry as much... I think I cry more! But I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life! Infact I would even go to say it is my crying that keeps me happy. Now when things get me down (notice I said down, not depressed), I come to a point where I just can't function... then I cry... cry out... cry out to Jesus... and then... Wow!! Gone!! Tears of Healing! Just like that! And when I get so overwhelmed by joy... I can't contain it... I get to bouncing... my hearts feels like it is welling up and about ready to explode... I have a terrible urge to hug anyone and everyone (I call this my syco Walmart greeter mode)... then I burst out into tears... Tears of joy! Just like that!
Growing up this became a very big problem... I mean think about it... If you only knew how many times I was told to 'quit acting like a baby'... 'stop crying and get over it'... 'you whine about everything'... etc.. etc... etc.... Oh how this completely devastated me... I mean I felt it coming on... the tears would well up... I would get a terrible painful lump in my throat... and then... you guessed it... I would start bawling... I cry so much I do that inhale/skip/inhale thing... I have even burst blood vessels in my face from crying... And the harder I try stopping it the worse it gets. I would try and explain this to others and couldn't... so many see it as a sign of weakness... and/or depression... All negative. It was a very difficult thing for me to deal with then... But now.......
Now I see it as so many different things... all possitive... When I cry I feel better! I cry to Jesus out of my weakeness... and He gives me strength!! I cry out to Jesus with my praise and He brings me joy!! The Bible doesn't say that Jesus ever did the inhale/skip/inhale thing... but it does say He wept!! And when the Bible talks about how He sweated blood in the garden... I understand... that can and has happened since... I have cried out to God in such intense that I have burst blood vessels in my face... no lie...(Once was praying for a husband who would love me... this was about 21 years ago... Mike and I have been married 18 years with a 2 year engagement... go figure...). God has shown me how important my tears are... they are a gift... Wow!!! A gift! I was even told, just recently that tears can be a sign of the Holy Spirit working inside you... I thought about that... I think it could very well be true...
I found over 30 scriptures in the Bible just about tears!!  2 Kings 20:5 says God sees our tears and will heal us... Esther 8:3 Esther used her tears to 'put away' the 'mischief' of others... Job 16:20 "My friends scoff at me: But mine eye pourth out tears unto God..." Oh and did you know that they used to put their tears into a bottle to store them up for God? (Ps. 56:8) And King David was at a place where he had no bottle and asked God to store them for him (You know King David, the man after God's own heart!)... Ps. 126:5 "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy!" (Awsome!!!)... Oh and then in Luke 7 there was the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears (How did Jesus respond about that? Huh?)... Acts 20:31 talks about how Paul served the Lord with his tears... 2 Cor. 2:4 Paul uses his tears to express his love... 2 Tim. 1:4 tears bring joy (AGAIN!)... Heb. 5:7 tears of thankfulness...
O.K. I think I have probably made my point... Now what are you going to do?... Go cry about it? LOL!!!
As I close this out I am... you guessed it... welling up with tears! Praise God!! Oh... my tears express what my words cannot say!! May you cry and be filled with joy!!! Love you all!!!

I Know! Iknow!

"Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it." James 4:17 NLT
Do you supose some of those "ought to"s are times when it is hard to? Or we are to busy to? Or we just can't afford to? Or are all those just excuses for we just don't want to?
I know I need to improve on this! But I also know I have come a long way. But I know a big part of that started because of a change in additude. And yes I am talking about mine, not anyone else. I got real with myself! I took the time to really look at who I really was. I mean really, not what my mom said about me, not what my dad said about me, not what my husband, kids, or anyone. Not even what I said about me, but what God says about me!
Once I got that truth comitted into my memory, I then came to realize that this is true for each and every one of His children. Which by the way can be just as hard for me to believe as it is about my self some days. But it is truth! I then too comitted that fact to memory.
Now with these to truths, I then came to realize that I no longer could look at anyone in pitty, as less fortunate, or below me. I got to tell you the difference this can make in relationships with people and our ability to fulfill our purpose and tell others the secret of the gospel. When you treat the homeless looking man with raggy clothes, greasy hair, smelly breath, and toothless smile the same way you treat your best friend; they notice!! I know, I knew who was just pittying me when I was struggling... and I didn't believe anything they told me... Even when they told me Jesus loved me... But when one of them grabbed me, hugged me (real hug, not pat on the back hug), and then told me I was loved!!! I listened. And you know what, that person meant it. I know he is know one of my best friends!
I have a goal, and that is to love people, to really love them! and then share the Good News with them. And to really love them is to be equal to them.... and I can't pitty them, or think of them as less fortunate, that only belittles them...they know...just like I knew... learn to be real... And once you do that you will want to do it again and again and again... and every once in awhile you will be blessed beyond what you could ever imagine!! I was with Eugene.... As I am with many others...

Walls, Floors and Ceilings

Logan got in trouble at school yesterday... Not anything really big I guess... but boy did it send me into a whirl wind of panic! Thing is I realized after Judy looked at me and stated, "It's not about you." that I didn't need to be in the panic I was in. Here was Logan in trouble at school, and the first thoughts went to the trouble I had with the school for Lance and with my drinking, I didn't set such a great example as a mother... And what would they think of me now? Yeah, it wasn't about me, but I sure made it that way. All I could think about was how was I going to face the school... I popped out of gear and instantly went back to my 'old life' and my old way of thinking... How quickly I forgot what God has done for me... And first off, Logan is different than Lance.... Home life is different now than before... I am different than before... And futher more... I am not even really sure what they do think of me... and even if they think what I thought they thought of me, what does it really matter... I am not who I used to be...and truth be known, I am not even what I thought they thought I was.... Did you get all that? LOL!
So lets get back to what it is really all about... Logan... He is a normal teenager.... he has moments of not thinking (O.K. so you don't have to be a teenager for that)... yesterday was one of those moments... hanging with his buddies.... nothing to do... mind racing.... stupid ideas (I think at this point he may have thought that it may not be such a good idea and he may get into some trouble, but he dismissed it)... they decide to have some one go up in the ceiling and bang on the pipes to scare everybody... guess who volunteers... yep, Logan went through the ceiling... I had to ask the teacher 3 times... He did what?... He was where?... Are you sure it was Logan?... Yep, Logan...
He is going to have to serve detention, and it will go in his file...  But I don't even think I have to meet with the school... And if I do, I know God is with me and I am not who I was!
But I have come to this advice... For us both.... And for yourself if you need it....
When your back is against the wall, stand firmly on the floor, and what ever you do don't go through the ceiling!!
"Use every piece of God's armor  to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that  after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness." Ephesians 6:13-14

Just Gene!

I am writing this post not to lessen the pain of others, but just to get out my thoughts about Gene and what he met to me. To talk of the building of a great yet short relationship. And to hopefully express the grand plan that was set into motion by none other than our creator. I am only going to start with when I came into the picture, but I want to make known it started long before that!
I met Gene right before I started working in the office (July, 2009), it was not known by a lot of us at church because he only came in during the weekdays (Monday-Wednesday-Friday) for community service. (Pastor Judy and her friend Sue... Sue works for Cedar Valley Care Services, she asked Judy if he could do his community service at the church.) Shortly after Dennis had gotten out of jail and needed to do some community service, so I picked him up on my way in... It becomes something so grand when I look back, God is so awsome!!! He took the convsations that Dennis and I had and opened Gene up after years and years of pain and suffering... Dennis and I really have nothing to do with it, it was all God! But God did use us for His purpose.
One day I was opening up a classroom for Dennis to clean, he looked at me and asked me how I could forgive the people that hurt me so bad... I had no choice but to tell him the truth... I told him God took it from me. And I refused to hang on to it any more. I came to a point where I realized I was staying a victim if I did. I had to give it to God. I had a opportunity to invite me to church! I listened and obeyed!! I asked, he said he would come, but buses didn't run on Sunday and services couldn't bring him. I told him I would look for ride for him.
It isn't a easy task to find someone at church who for one even drive, two has a car, three isn't burned out from driving so many others, and because of the distance away he lived... It took awhile, it came down to Pastor George picking him up in the morning, and we would run him home after service... OH he was so happy!! After about 2 times there was a Sunday George didn't get him picked up (he was so busy), Gene called me and said he was sitting at the window waiting like a puppy in a pet shop. George didn't forget him after that. LOL!
Then there came a Monday that Gene told me that after Judy's sermon he really wanted to go up to the front (alter call) but he was afraid to go up by himself. Dennis said "Well... if thats why you didn't I will go up with you!" So funny!!! All week, he spent talking about how he was going to go up to the front on Sunday, and Dennis said he would go with him! Sunday came, He said he was nervous... we comforted him and told him it would be alright... I don't think he was even able to listen to the sermon Judy gave that day!! LOL! But OH, I tell you what, the Holy Spirit didn't let that stop what was happening, and that day... OH that day... there were so many that came to Christ!! For some reason I remember to music still being played... my heart was singing!! Tears were running down my face... and then... here came Gene Gene up the center isle, holding Dennis's hand... once up front he went down to his knees right in front of Judy... Dennis got down with him... and prayed with him!!! Oh, it was so beautiful!! I still am crying... with JOY!!! Oh, it was awsome!!
Next came his baptism... Again Gene Gene was very nervous... again Dennis said he would go up with him if he wanted him to... He even told him he would get in the tank with him if he wanted!!! LOL!!! God was shining through Gene that day... He was smiling.... really full of joy... You could see it... I will never
forget!!!
He wanted to read his bible more often but he said it was to small of print... so guess what we got him for Christmas... Yea we got him a large print bible! And he did use it? Yep he did!! There was one night he called me and he was worried on whether he had did the right thing or not... He had a couple of men come to the door and ask him if they could come in and talk to him about his faith... He told me he had told them no... was that o.k.?... Just a little earlier I was reading in 2 John... I was driving and couldn't remember exactly what it said so I made him look it up and read it to me... 2 John verses 4-11, take note of verse 10 "If anyone comes to you and does not bring His teaching, do not recievehim into your house or give him any greeting,..." I asked him what he thought about that. LOL!!! He said it was like it was talking to him!!! LOL!!!
And just recently, about 3 weeks ago I think, we were in class, I don't remember which one, but I was seeing by him and he told everyone he was laying in bed the night before and he was talking to God, and he forgave the people who had hurt him!!! Remember that first question he had asked me?!!! Yea, I teared up... Isn't God awsome!!!
Gene Gene is living proof!!!! I feel so blessed to just be a short part in his life!!! I have no regrets!!! And just knowing that obeying my Father played such a important part in his death... Praise be to God!!!!
Now I ask for the knowledge and depth of insight needed in building those same bonds with Gene Gene's family. And may God give me the strength and courage to carry that out!!! Praise be to God!!!

Last and First

Where to even start... Last night Dennis had called me to let me know Gene Gene wouldn't answer his phone... Dennis talks to Gene everyday... he always answers his phone... I called, no answer... You ever have that feeling deep in your gut that something just is not right... Well I guess Dennis and I knew then... we found out this morning that they found Gene Gene about 9 pm last night... He has gone home before us...
Gene Gene... he did community service here at the church, when I first met him he was not much of a talker and very... I mean VERY slow... When Dennis started doing community service is when things started changing... Dennis being Dennis, got on Gene Gene right away... calling him slow, telling him to speed up, and believe it or not Gene Gene took a liking to Dennis, and Dennis to Gene Gene... After some time Gene Gene started asking questions about forgiveness and wanting to know it he could be happy like we are... Dennis told him if he came to church he would sit by him... We got Pastor George to pick him up on Sunday mornings and we would take him home... about the 3rd Sunday Gene Gene wanted Dennis to go up front with him for an alter call!!! I was crying so bad!!! Then a couple of weeks after that he went and got baptized!! This all has taken place in the last few months!!!
He is with the Father!!! It has made it there before us!! He was one of the last workers to be in the Vineyard... Matthew 20:1-16 Sums it up... It is all so bitter sweet... Our brother has gone to be with our Father. We will miss him... but even grander of a thought is knowing the plan God laid out for him... I mean this is just so awsome... he came to know Christ so recent!! And now he is with Him!!
I have so many great memories of Gene Gene... Dennis accused him of brown nosing me once... Gene Gene turned and looked at him and stated "It's my nose!" OH I laughed so hard!! He spent Thanksgiving with us... He would sneak me in gizzards... the way he called Dennis "Old Man"... His voice deep and friendly... and his smile... Yes there is no doubt in my mind he is with our Father!

I am not alone!

I have a friend who just recently 'recomitted' his life to Christ. Over the last few weeks he has been really into reading the Word, more than he has in the past. I talking when ever he gets a chance... when he is at church, in public, or alone. I am so excited for him!!! Even right now I feel myself bursting with joy at the thought of it! It is a wonderful thing to see! And I have had to laugh! Oh the joy He brings to all of us!!! I just got to share some things that have happened for him. There was one day when he was struggling with his anger and needed some direction and help with it, so he asked a group of us for some help with it. Mike mentioned that Proverbs was a good place to start. Right away he wanted to know where in Proverbs... well I asked him what the date was... It was the 15th... so I told him to look up Proverbs 15. He eagerly when and looked it up.  "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh  words stir up anger" Proverbs 15:1 He looked up eyes wide and said "Whoa, did you plan that?" All of us laughed, "Oh, yeah we knew you were going to be stuggling with anger today and planned it all out for you." Isn't God great!!! This week he got so into reading the word, he has missed meetings, meals, etc. Now he wants to know if that is normal? I just looked at him and smiled. Oh the joy it is to see the joy God is bringing others! Well I don't know if it is normal or not, but I have the same things happen to me, and I know the Joy he is feeling!! It's just so exciting!!! Thats what His Word does!!! I know!!! That is how you keep your Joy!! The last 3 plus years I have not gone 1 day without reading His Word! I also have not gone 1 day without His Joy in my heart!! There have been days I have not read as much as others, and believe me I know by the end of the day! What a difference from who I was, to who I am now!! I have a true relationship with Him. A close relationship with Him!! And everyday I continue to stay in His Word, is one more day I am letting Him know how much He means to me!! I am not saying this to brag about myself and what I do, truly I tell you this to let you know what He has done, is doing, and will do in all our lives!!! Any meaningful relationship we have with anybody, is based on a daily conection with each other. And everyday I spend with Him... Oh how I love Jesus!!!! whether these things/feelings are normal or not, I do not care!! I will not exchange Him for anything!!! And it is so awsome to see that same Joy and feelings in anyone else!! It is like experancing it for myself, double, tripple, etc... It's like loving your children so much and you don't think you could love athem more, then when they have children.... Whoosh!!! You love them more and their child too!! Just no way to explain it or put it into words!

This is only a test.

O.K. Here I am Lord! Take this from me! LOL! What a time I am having... Burnt arm, back out of wack, got some bug that has me trying to decide if I need to walk to the bathroom, or run, then my pants! LOL! On my way in this morning my leg felt funny... my pants ripped... I am now walking around church, or running with one hand trying to cover a hole, back twisted, bathroom to far away, arm rapped up tight... Praise God!! This is so much comedy... At some point you just come to realize, this is just to much, and it can only be the enemy, I love it!! You know as decieving as he can be, he just can't help himself, if he can't get your attention he will just keep going and going... it can become rediculous!!
Now I bring this up not because of the need of sympathy or complaining... No I bring it up for much grander purposes... Praise God!!! And I mean that in everyway!!! There was a time in my life where one of these happenings would have distroyed me, my day, my week, maybe even my month. But now... BUT NOW... WOW!! I look at it so differently... I mean really... It is about Him... And what He has done for me... What He has done~ does~ or will do for any of us... I still have JOY... His Joy... Crazy huh? Crazy is as crazy does... 1 Cor. 5:13 Here is what is happening in my head... I went to my PaPa and He kissed the bobo burn on my arm all better...my back, well if I wouldn't spend so much time dreaming of heaven and chasing butterflies through fields and fields of wild flowers with Baylee (my grandson)... my pants, well lets just face it, its funny, one of those moments that 'could only happen to me' that we all seem to experience a thousand times in our lives... But the catcher is, I choose to praise God!! And He is the one who gives me Joy... And even when my pain is at a breath stopping point, I can still look to my Lord and Savior, and His promises for me, His love for me... and BAM just like that HIS JOY and a smile on my face... OH how wonderful He is!!! Tears of Joy well up deep inside!!! To think there was a time where I would let this Joy be stolen from me... Not today!!! Not ever again!!! There is nothing that will keep me from His love NOTHING!!! Romans 8:31-39 ~ Try to read that and not well up with confidence that He loves you!!! VICTORY!!!!
And at that moment in my day when I was wondering what was going on... Wondering where He was.... Was He still with me.... I was reminded, I have a choice... what will I do... The thought THIS IS ONLY A TEST... And I am going to see it through... A open book test... I will know if I pass by my fruit...
Galatians 5:22-26~ Yea!!! Praise be to God!! The Holy Spirit is in control!! I know by the fruit!! May He continue to lead me in every area of my life. May He continue to lead in all His childrens lives. May He give us the wisdom, knowledge, and discernment we need to see His plans for us and may He give us the strength and courage we need to carry that out!!! Again PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!