Thoughts of moving...

Over the last few years our family has been changing... making different choices... setting new priorities... Thoughts are changing... even desires... five years ago we would have thought anyone was nuts if they would have said we would be WANTing to move into Waterloo... little alone the 'east side'... did I mention,we will be moving to Waterloo April 1st... I am so excited I can barely contain myself... beyond the usual even!!!
When I was growing up we moved a lot... I mean A LOT... the was one school year I went to 5 different schools! I went from Cedar Falls, Ackley, Greene, North Cedar, back to Cedar Falls, Waterloo, back to Cedar Falls, etc... But for the most part we ended up in Cedar Falls... None the less this really put a lot of desire to see/want my own children to grow up in one place. I was in hopes that they could experience making lifetime friends, knowing them from kindergarden up... growing up together... just having that ... stabbility...
Then Lance... our oldest... he moved away at 16 and never even finished school...There are many issues facing the departure of Lance... One of which is his dropping out of school... This was just one of the disapointments... I took this hard... And I had it set in my head this would never be the case for Logan... Well... Never say never... No Logan is not dropping out... 2 months ago we knew we would be moving... but Logan WOULD be open inrolling at Dunkerton... well... that two is being prayed about... and we are excited to see the route we will be taking...
And that brings me to the whole point of writing this... I got to tell you... I really thought that this "move" was going to be challenging... I mean with all the circumstances... the foreclosure... peace... when we have to be out... peace... where will we go... peace... But, there was this part of me that just kept thinking that God was going to really test us in our trust in Him... I continuely had been thinking I will trust Him... no matter how difficult it gets... and waiting for it to get difficult... I will trust Him!!!... Now don't think I am saying poor me here... but I do have to say the last 3 years have been full of trusting Him... in the mist of very diffcult situations... and I really was thinking that would be the case here... expecting it!... and to tell you the truth I think deep down I still may be thinking it... this is so bad..... God is opening up doors like you wouldn't believe!! Things are happening so smooth... I think I may even be still waiting for the 'bomb' to drop. I know I should be thanking & praising God... and I am... but as bad as it is... I feel like I am not doing it whole heartedly like I should because I keep thinking... that this is just to easy and not challenging enough... why would God make it go so easy... sounds so crazy doesn't it? What 'lesson' could He possibly be teaching me? What is it I should be learning?
Oh, wow! What if that's it?... What if He is just doing it without any challenge or struggle to go through! Does He do that? Why am I alway thinking that I have to go through a struggle to get anything from God? I am I the only one who struggles with this? Could it just possibly be that He is not expecting me to do anything... and just wants to show me not everything has to come with a struggle? Could that really be possible?? Why am I struggling so badly with the lack of struggle?? I am facing this in even more personal struggles... is it part of my old self that is so negative?? Is it a 'need' or do a dare say... could it be an addiction? Do I need to surrender my need to struggle??
Oh, Father please help me to believe! Show me the truth...Open my eyes to see! Give me peace about all the peace! Help me to except this! Remove the fear I have of this or any other changes in my life that are happening... So that I may openly, full heartedly praise You! I trust You! I do, please help me with my untrust!! PRAISE BE TO THE FATHER THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT!!