Tears

I weep. I mean I really weep... alot. I can tear up at just about anything... no lie. I cry when I am sad... I cry when I am happy... I cry when I am confused... tired... angry... upset... you name the emotion and I can cry you right through it. I have even cried because I cry! I have been that way ever since I can remember. If God is holding my tears like he did King David's... I probably am responsible for a big ocean in Heaven! When I was delivered of my depression January 20th 2007 I thought for sure I wouldn't cry as much... I think I cry more! But I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life! Infact I would even go to say it is my crying that keeps me happy. Now when things get me down (notice I said down, not depressed), I come to a point where I just can't function... then I cry... cry out... cry out to Jesus... and then... Wow!! Gone!! Tears of Healing! Just like that! And when I get so overwhelmed by joy... I can't contain it... I get to bouncing... my hearts feels like it is welling up and about ready to explode... I have a terrible urge to hug anyone and everyone (I call this my syco Walmart greeter mode)... then I burst out into tears... Tears of joy! Just like that!
Growing up this became a very big problem... I mean think about it... If you only knew how many times I was told to 'quit acting like a baby'... 'stop crying and get over it'... 'you whine about everything'... etc.. etc... etc.... Oh how this completely devastated me... I mean I felt it coming on... the tears would well up... I would get a terrible painful lump in my throat... and then... you guessed it... I would start bawling... I cry so much I do that inhale/skip/inhale thing... I have even burst blood vessels in my face from crying... And the harder I try stopping it the worse it gets. I would try and explain this to others and couldn't... so many see it as a sign of weakness... and/or depression... All negative. It was a very difficult thing for me to deal with then... But now.......
Now I see it as so many different things... all possitive... When I cry I feel better! I cry to Jesus out of my weakeness... and He gives me strength!! I cry out to Jesus with my praise and He brings me joy!! The Bible doesn't say that Jesus ever did the inhale/skip/inhale thing... but it does say He wept!! And when the Bible talks about how He sweated blood in the garden... I understand... that can and has happened since... I have cried out to God in such intense that I have burst blood vessels in my face... no lie...(Once was praying for a husband who would love me... this was about 21 years ago... Mike and I have been married 18 years with a 2 year engagement... go figure...). God has shown me how important my tears are... they are a gift... Wow!!! A gift! I was even told, just recently that tears can be a sign of the Holy Spirit working inside you... I thought about that... I think it could very well be true...
I found over 30 scriptures in the Bible just about tears!!  2 Kings 20:5 says God sees our tears and will heal us... Esther 8:3 Esther used her tears to 'put away' the 'mischief' of others... Job 16:20 "My friends scoff at me: But mine eye pourth out tears unto God..." Oh and did you know that they used to put their tears into a bottle to store them up for God? (Ps. 56:8) And King David was at a place where he had no bottle and asked God to store them for him (You know King David, the man after God's own heart!)... Ps. 126:5 "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy!" (Awsome!!!)... Oh and then in Luke 7 there was the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears (How did Jesus respond about that? Huh?)... Acts 20:31 talks about how Paul served the Lord with his tears... 2 Cor. 2:4 Paul uses his tears to express his love... 2 Tim. 1:4 tears bring joy (AGAIN!)... Heb. 5:7 tears of thankfulness...
O.K. I think I have probably made my point... Now what are you going to do?... Go cry about it? LOL!!!
As I close this out I am... you guessed it... welling up with tears! Praise God!! Oh... my tears express what my words cannot say!! May you cry and be filled with joy!!! Love you all!!!